The most beautiful music, the ugliest sounds
I tumble
down
down
down
In my moments of weakness, my moments of strength
the thoughts that usually consume my mind are gone
I think of you, of everything
tears flow as I’m raw - but only for a moment
and as I fall back to the usual thoughts, you disappear
Falling in love with strangers (pt. 3).
Last night:
Tonight? Yes.
Flying, not floating. It’s obvious from the way I spend just a moment deciding what to wear and I don’t change or fixate on anything for longer than a second or two. Ready? Yes, I’m ready. I’ve been preparing for days. I never thought I’d fly again and it’s been years but tonight - I don’t question it, I don’t think of it, I let it all unfold.
From the moment you asked and you asked and you asked, I knew. Something different, something special and for the first time in my life, my opinion matters. This is it, this is all, everything I’ve ever wanted and I’m no longer afraid to speak.
You’re easy to talk to. I smile and listen but you listen, too and everything seems so beautiful, even in the darkness, even when the stars don’t shine.
I’ve been waiting a long time to do that. I smile and smile and smile and for the first time, it was my choice, too. Mutual and no pressure and I could have easily slipped away but for the first time, it was what we both wanted, not what I wanted because you wanted and not what you wanted because I wanted.
Your voice is soft and your moves are slow and you’ve captured me and I’m enamored. I think I’ve found what I’ve been wanting and every day I choose to be a little less sick and a little more able to love.
Every word spoken is honest and open and I’ve never been part of something so beautiful before.
